Chapter 1: Page 20
Last week there were some questions about the Canid being allies of Sunsgrove – Quinlan has the same questions, as he’s clearly not up to speed on his Four Kingdoms history or how treaties work! Kenosh, of course, isn’t one to suffer Quinlan’s naïveté – we’ll see more of this heated discussion next week!
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For those who follow us on Twitter (Rachel is @kobbers and I am @tdcpresents), you might have noticed that Rachel mentioned she wasn’t too happy with the original thumbnail for this page – specifically the first panel. It brought to light one issue we’re constantly dealing with, which is the flow from one page to the next. While you all have been reading this in webcomic form, with one page displayed at a time, with a full week in between pages, it is our ultimate goal to have this comic printed up in a bound volume. Considering that, it’s important to remember that panels and pages need to flow appropriately. There will be page spreads, we’ll need to maintain appropriate tension on page turns, etc.
For example, with Chapter 1 pages 19 and 20, those would likely be laid out with 20 on 19’s back-side, requiring a page-turn. With that in mind, this is the flow of panels you would see if we used the original thumb layout:
Essentially, we’d be going from one medium-shot to another medium-shot on a page-turn. In the end, Rachel decided it would be better to pull the camera out on that to quickly re-establish the scene, since page 19 featured a lot of alternate scenes outside the king’s chambers and readers would need to re-acquaint themselves with the space.
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The new layout sets the scene a lot better, and I think Rachel definitely made the right call on it.
Wow…Kenosh is a jerk so far XD
Yes, for being his best friend’s father, Kenosh and Quinlan don’t seem to be hitting it off so well, eh?
HAHAHA!!! Kenosh is SO awesome!
Kenosh:”War, CAPTAIN, is what you get when two armies don’t like each other very much…”
Priceless! Sounds like something I would say! lol I’m going to sleep with a smile tonight. This just keeps getting better and better!….Oh, and the Canid seem like bullies to me…So I’m going to guess that they start the war…hehe…I like the other guys better (I don’t remember how to spell it…), so I’m totally rooting for them!
Nice job! Quinlan looks awesome! btw where’d you get the name Quinlan? It’s sounds awesome….If I get married, that’s going to totally be one of my kids names….erm…anyway…
Nice page, although for the first time I feel the need to critique Rachel’s artwork. Something about Quin’s arms in the final panel just strikes me as not right; it’s the first thing that hit me when I initially read the page, and it’s still hitting me. The position and posture looks extremely awkward and unnatural, and I don’t think it’s just a case of Quin being caught at an ungainly instant in the midst of motion, the way phtotgraphs sometimes capture people in an awkward mid-transition pose while they’re moving. (Although, since this is a comic, you guys get to pick which “moments” to set in stone, so it only makes sense you’d avoid the awkward ones and go for straight visual appeal.) Basically, it’s his arms. The left, which is closer to the viewer and thus might be expected to be drawn a little larger for perspective’s sake, instead looks shorter/smaller than the right, and that just throws the entire pose off for me. Maybe it’s the cut of his tunic and the lay of his sash that’s helping create this effect, but if so, I think that could have been conveyed better – especially by an artist of Rachel’s proven skills. And wouldn’t Lay of the Sash be a great band name?
I also noticed for the first time on this page how the Tamian King is firmly stationing himself on the opposite side of the bridge, across that little brook from the others. Considering that there’s likely the constant sound of running water in that confined space, even if it’s just a very gentle flow, they must all be speaking on the loud side to be heard above the water noise – especially with the King maintaining his distance like that.
See! I’m paying attention! Now go give us some more pages! Pweeease?
I think I can see a little of what you’re talking about, but it looks mostly right to me – might need to wait until my eyes are fresh to properly pick it apart and fix what’s broke, haha. I suspect it’ll require a better position for the hand on the left, and shortening the forearm on the right. It was a tough pose to devise, as I was trying to sell Quin’s emphatic delivery without being too cliche, symmetrical, or milking-the-invisible-cow-y. X)
“Awkward” *was* an ingredient that was meant to be there, though. Quin’s taken the step of trying to join the discussion and challenge his elders and betters, but he’s still in way over his head.
^I think it has more to do with the proportions causing Quin to look like he’s using his right hand to point at the floor, which I know isn’t what you were trying to convey.
Anyway, this week’s comic was fantastic as usual, keep up the great work, guys. :D
Yeah, that was probably a poorly-conceived hand pose, on my part. I intend to come back to this and fix whatever needs to be fixed, but it’s still too recent for me to look at it as critically as I need to.
I really appreciate these remarks, guys. They help keep me on my toes and will help me make the fixes when I get back to this. c:
You’re more than welcome; we really appreciate these wonderful comics you two churn out each week. :D
Ireland Ranger: How did Quinlan originally get his name? Funny story, actually! I’d been reading Max Allen Collins’ amazing graphic novel “Road to Perdition” at the time, and there’s a sequence where the main characters rob a gambling steamship. The ship’s name? The Quinlan. And the name just sorta stuck!
Highwing: I read Quin’s arm posture as him gesturing toward King Dabheid (exemplifying the “Sunsgrove” in his question), but I’m sure Rachel can explain better! Also, the running water isn’t *that* powerful – it’s modeled on a zen garden, and those don’t get too loud. They can’t, really – otherwise you lose the zen, and that’s so totally un-dude :)
Well ‘Quinlan’ totally suites ‘Quinlan’ :D
(yes I’m all over the place with these reviews!) :)
>as he’s clearly not up to speed on his Four Kingdoms history or how treaties work!
Thank goodness! Otherwise I’d be lost too. :D
Getting back to the zen garden of the Tamian throne room. we get to see that, for a position as prestigious and filled with responsibilities as Captain of the Royal Guards, Quinlan is very ignorant of a lot of things. I actually wonder why he was appointed to such a job if he wasn’t ready for it – maybe it will be explained later.
Kenosh does indeed come across as rather harsh in his sarcasm here – I wouldn’t really call him a jerk, but pretty harsh – which is a bit strange since when we see him and Quinlan interact in the future there’s no antipathy between them or any disapproval from the rugged Lutren’s side. But then, it IS tempting to correct Quin’s mistakes in such a manner…
I like how the sketches often just have suggestions like “sarcasm” and “know that” – a good way to prepare the artwork beforehand. I must admit that I might not have considered how the panels would flow in a printed volume when I criticized the last page. Personally though, I really think of this as a webcomic first and foremost.
Hmm, the way Quinlan holds his paws in the last panel does indeed seem a little awkward, but not by a whole lot. I probably would never have noticed if Wing hadn’t brought it up. If you feel it’s serious enough to consider revisions, do so.